Hello Heartbreakers!
I have just uploaded several podcasts to SoundCloud. Throughout the clips me and my honey (David) will be opening up about our private, intimate moments, as they relate to our relationship. We also give you guys advice based on mistakes that we have both made. No relationship is perfect and him and I are living proof of that.
Happy Listening!
This blog was created from my own personal experiences of love and relationships. This blog is to possibly help someone who is either struggling or needs advice about their relationship (familial,friendships,romantic) or to serve as a positive reenforcement to good relationships.
Friday, April 1, 2016
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Relationships
My name is Taylor Haynes, I am a nursing major and communications minor at Lamar University in Beaumont, Tx. I am currently enrolled in a course called, New Media and Publishing. The course teaches strategic social media planning and importance of good social media usage. For the past 2 weeks my classmates and I have been blogging. Thank you for your support in reading and commenting on my blog about relationships!
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We Are Prey
"He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" - Proverbs 18:22
Wait on your Mr. Right. We invest time, energy, and love into a man that God never meant for us to be with in the first place. We refuse to walk away from a relationship "empty handed" so instead we continuously re-read this tired ass chapter of our life, that we call a "relationship." We shed tears over this chapter, as if we don't already know a fresh start is only a page away. We cannot continue to allow ourselves to settle for anything less than what we deserve. He inflicts the first initial scar, but we stick around just to be hurt again several times more. Then after 3 years, 2 STDs, and a plethora of pregnancy scares, we find ourselves thinking... why didn't I leave the first time. That's because we constantly knock on doors that God doesn't want us to open. We are often times left filling empty, abused, and mistreated. But half of that pain is caused by ourselves, our failure to listen to our minds instead of our heart, and failing to listen to that phenomenal sense of "woman's intuition."With all things comes trials and tribulations, even with the best relationship, just make sure its all worth it for the right Mr. Right.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Does Social Media Ruin Relationships?
I remember the first time I created my Myspace account . I sat behind a huge desktop computer, the ancient ones with the booty in the back and a telephone cord that stretched across the living room to provide me with AOL dial up, and at that moment in time ... I was the happiest. For whatever reason, googling new HMTL codes , changing my background, and updating my song once every couple of days was the epitome of my day. But that was almost 10 years ago . Social media has changed , we've since then moved on from MySpace and added sites like Facebook, Instagram, and the infamous Snapchat. Even technology has changed , I don't have to trip over that 40 inch telephone cord anymore, my MacBook works at superb speed over turbo wifi . As with all things , with much progress comes much digress .
Now we live in a world that likes and views determines a person's status, worth, and importance. The girl tweeting about how hard her test was today , gets zero retweets . Another girl tweeting about how drunk she got off that "hen dawg" , gets retweeted , and she will more than likely get several inappropriate emojis in her mentions . We look to social media for validation; validation not only for our own self-confidence but also for our relationships as well .
So Does social media ruin relationships? Or does our use of social media cause our relationships to be ruined ? I believe the latter to be true. First off, I can't believe that a website can ruin what God has already planned and meant to be true, social media just sped up the process . Our generation truly believes that if you don't flaunt what you have , then you don't have anything . If you have money , you have to post a video on snapchat counting 5's and 10's . If you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend and they aren't your #MCM or #WCW every week then there is no way y'all's relationship can sustain. If you don't screenshot your grades and post them on Facebook at the end of each semester, obviously your grades are horrible and your GPA is -.3. Honestly, Who makes these rules ? We have no idea, YOU have no idea but yet we still chose to follow and fall victim to these outrageous standards of today's society.
Along With the advancement of technology we also have the advancement of communication as a whole. About 100 years ago, the only way to communicate was by horse and boogie with a letter that took two weeks to arrive. Now days, an email can be sent across the world in the matter of a blink of an eye. In some cases social media sometimes magnifies what is already happening as it allows multiple new channels of communication. Sometimes I hear a lot of guys say they hate social media, social media is messy ... Yada yada yada ... But my question for those men are . What are you doing in your life , that women have to reap havoc over your timeline and comments? Do you have multiple women assuming their "bae" ? Does your conversation with these women give them the impression and the right to be able to post on YOUR page whenever they so chose? And most of the time the answer to these questions are YES. How can you say social media ruined your relationship, when you were already cheating to begin with? YOU ruined YOUR relationship, by letting these females run a muck. If your relationship meant that much to you in the first place, there would have been no need for any "social media beef" . After all, a real man, will never let his bench rider injure his point guard.
Ponder on that ...
As women we have also let our usage of social media have a negative impact on our relationship and even how others view our relationship. No one cares about your tweet ... "Bae's on the way" ... No one cares about your snapchat ... *a video of bae driving not looking at the camera* ... And no one cares about the picture you posted on Instagram half naked in a bathroom mirror while "bae" grabs your buttocks, it's actually quite disgusting . I think I speak for us all when I say ... Women like you are annoying ! No one needs to know the private times and moments that you and your significant other share. As you're tagging your man in every picture you post of him on Instagram ... there is another woman out there following that tag from your page to his, to admire all of "your man's" glory. Guess what ? If you think he's fine ... There is somebody else in this world that thinks the same exact thing, and they could careless about you being "his girlfriend."
Somewhere along the way we lost our dignity and privacy. We allow our relationship to be viewed by as many people as possible, we air our own dirty laundry for our followers and the world to see. So if you think social media has ruined your relationship, ask yourself .... Has social media ruined my relationship? Was my relationship even a "relationship" in the beginning ? Or have I allowed my actions alone to ruin both my social media and my relationship?
#QTNA
Now we live in a world that likes and views determines a person's status, worth, and importance. The girl tweeting about how hard her test was today , gets zero retweets . Another girl tweeting about how drunk she got off that "hen dawg" , gets retweeted , and she will more than likely get several inappropriate emojis in her mentions . We look to social media for validation; validation not only for our own self-confidence but also for our relationships as well .
So Does social media ruin relationships? Or does our use of social media cause our relationships to be ruined ? I believe the latter to be true. First off, I can't believe that a website can ruin what God has already planned and meant to be true, social media just sped up the process . Our generation truly believes that if you don't flaunt what you have , then you don't have anything . If you have money , you have to post a video on snapchat counting 5's and 10's . If you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend and they aren't your #MCM or #WCW every week then there is no way y'all's relationship can sustain. If you don't screenshot your grades and post them on Facebook at the end of each semester, obviously your grades are horrible and your GPA is -.3. Honestly, Who makes these rules ? We have no idea, YOU have no idea but yet we still chose to follow and fall victim to these outrageous standards of today's society.
Along With the advancement of technology we also have the advancement of communication as a whole. About 100 years ago, the only way to communicate was by horse and boogie with a letter that took two weeks to arrive. Now days, an email can be sent across the world in the matter of a blink of an eye. In some cases social media sometimes magnifies what is already happening as it allows multiple new channels of communication. Sometimes I hear a lot of guys say they hate social media, social media is messy ... Yada yada yada ... But my question for those men are . What are you doing in your life , that women have to reap havoc over your timeline and comments? Do you have multiple women assuming their "bae" ? Does your conversation with these women give them the impression and the right to be able to post on YOUR page whenever they so chose? And most of the time the answer to these questions are YES. How can you say social media ruined your relationship, when you were already cheating to begin with? YOU ruined YOUR relationship, by letting these females run a muck. If your relationship meant that much to you in the first place, there would have been no need for any "social media beef" . After all, a real man, will never let his bench rider injure his point guard.
Ponder on that ...
As women we have also let our usage of social media have a negative impact on our relationship and even how others view our relationship. No one cares about your tweet ... "Bae's on the way" ... No one cares about your snapchat ... *a video of bae driving not looking at the camera* ... And no one cares about the picture you posted on Instagram half naked in a bathroom mirror while "bae" grabs your buttocks, it's actually quite disgusting . I think I speak for us all when I say ... Women like you are annoying ! No one needs to know the private times and moments that you and your significant other share. As you're tagging your man in every picture you post of him on Instagram ... there is another woman out there following that tag from your page to his, to admire all of "your man's" glory. Guess what ? If you think he's fine ... There is somebody else in this world that thinks the same exact thing, and they could careless about you being "his girlfriend."
Somewhere along the way we lost our dignity and privacy. We allow our relationship to be viewed by as many people as possible, we air our own dirty laundry for our followers and the world to see. So if you think social media has ruined your relationship, ask yourself .... Has social media ruined my relationship? Was my relationship even a "relationship" in the beginning ? Or have I allowed my actions alone to ruin both my social media and my relationship?
#QTNA
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Sticks and Stones
For the past 3 months, my roommate and best friend for almost 10 years and I have not been speaking. Our drift first started when when I initiated a physical altercation in December and our lack of communication and friendship has since gotten worse over the past 2 months. During this time she has said very negative things about me, my deceased parents, character, finances, relationships, etc.
Just last night I was talking to a mutual friend that both her and I share, and as always he was giving me unwanted advice. Our friend tried to convince me to talk things out with my ex-best friend and try to move forward positively from the situation all together. But what he doesn't understand is, there were not only wrong actions but equally as hurtful comments and words that were each said about one another during our quarrels. I don't know what genius or philosophist came up wit the old and incredibly inaccurate saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Words do hurt. In fact, words have power and meaning, some for good and some for bad.
Often times, we say and do things out of a moment's anger that impacts a person for a lifetime. Proverbs 18:21 says "the tongue can bring life or death; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." (NLT) Although, me and my friend have both apologized and taken responsibility for each of our actions, it is still very hard to forget. Once a negative seed or unfavorable comment leaves your lips, you cannot take it back. Those hurtful comments and gestures that she said to me, I replay over and over in mind. Be mindful of the words that you use rather in good or bad situations, because how you chose to respond and act can ultimately determine the outcome of your relationship. Also be aware of how you communicate with people, sometime a simple, "I didn't mean it like that,"doesn't always make things right.
Maybe in another life, she and I can become friends again. But the hurtful words and deeds are almost unforgettable, and I know in my heart that things will ever be the same between her and I.
Just last night I was talking to a mutual friend that both her and I share, and as always he was giving me unwanted advice. Our friend tried to convince me to talk things out with my ex-best friend and try to move forward positively from the situation all together. But what he doesn't understand is, there were not only wrong actions but equally as hurtful comments and words that were each said about one another during our quarrels. I don't know what genius or philosophist came up wit the old and incredibly inaccurate saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Words do hurt. In fact, words have power and meaning, some for good and some for bad.
Often times, we say and do things out of a moment's anger that impacts a person for a lifetime. Proverbs 18:21 says "the tongue can bring life or death; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." (NLT) Although, me and my friend have both apologized and taken responsibility for each of our actions, it is still very hard to forget. Once a negative seed or unfavorable comment leaves your lips, you cannot take it back. Those hurtful comments and gestures that she said to me, I replay over and over in mind. Be mindful of the words that you use rather in good or bad situations, because how you chose to respond and act can ultimately determine the outcome of your relationship. Also be aware of how you communicate with people, sometime a simple, "I didn't mean it like that,"doesn't always make things right.
Maybe in another life, she and I can become friends again. But the hurtful words and deeds are almost unforgettable, and I know in my heart that things will ever be the same between her and I.
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